GAH!

I had a ton of titles floating through my head for this post: "Grasping At Webs", "Hello! McSpidey!"(Cause Bob Gale wrote the Back To The Future trilogy...heh!), or "Maximum Suckage". Either one would fit, but in the end the one I used fit the best.

I am, of course, referring to the recent run of Amazing Spider-Man trades. Starting with 'One More Day' and running through 'New Ways To Die'.

First off: I love Spider-Man. He's the greatest ungerdog. The ultimate reserve Avenger. The fifth of the Fantastic Four. His logo would be the only one I'd consider tattooing on my body...maybe the Silver Surfer too.

ANYWAY. After the last few collections I've read, I'm seriously starting to reconsider.

I'll explain: Post-Civil War, Spidey is a fugitive. He revealed his identity at the behest of Tony Stark...and soon regrets his decision. He goes underground to escape the persecution. Villains come out from the woodwork and try to assassinate Peter Parker. A snipers bullet misses Peter and M.J. but hits May Parker instead. Everyone from doctors to super scientists to the Sorceror Supreme tell Peter to let go and accept the fact that May's time is at an end.

Peter, being Peter, takes full responsibility of course...but after the meeting with Dr. Strange, is led through the streets of New York by a little red-haired girl who runs away. Trying to save the girl from the dangers of the street, Peter encounters a fat bespectacled man in the park who tells him that becoming a video game programmer was the only way he could become the hero that Spider-Man is. Then, Spidey gets a lift from a mysterious man in a black limousine. The man is rich beyond imagination, but tells Peter that he only became rich to prove himself to the bullies he had in high school. But he also regretted leaving behind the one girl he truly wanted to be with.

Peter's next encounter is with a mysterious figure that tells him that every decision that has ever been made, every turn, every moment could have ended differently. Mephisto!

Mephisto tells Spidey he can save May. For a price. Not Spidey's soul...duh! Something far more valuable. Mephisto will make small changes in Spidey's life in exchange for his marriage...his love for Mary Jane. The one love that comes along in millennia. Peter and M.J. accept...to the bewilderment of Mephisto... as Mephisto explains: "Those people you met on your way to me were all different versions of you, Peter. But, the one you overlooked was the red-headded girl who started you on this journey. The daughter you will, now, never have."

What a great story! Right?! Yes...it is something for the ages...until the end. JMS' last Spidey story is epic and heartbreaking. Too bad the rest of the 'reboot' is trite and revamped shit.

After the 'deal' is made, Peter wakes up alone in his bed at May's house. Spidey's a fugitive for not registering...a criminal, again. Persecuted by the police and "The D.B."(formerly The Daily Bugle) which is no longer run by J. Jonah Jameson but has been bought by Dexter Bennett (initials D.B. blech). Triple J.'s competitor.

Peter becomes a papparazzi for a while, makes some money, gets fired, moves in with a police officer who is kidnapped by the daughter of Kraven The Hunter by mistake...

Those last two semi-paragraphs are the culmination of the three trades after JMS' One More Day.

One More Day starts at AMS #544 and this current run ends at AMS #573. Let's hope for the best after...

Tyler